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My Poetry and Commentary on Life

  • This Writer’s Beginnings: EarlyYears
  • Bread Loaf Influence
  • Rock and Roll High School
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  • Self-flagellation

    by

    broken, definition, delusion, despair, doubt, existential angst, identity formation, inner speech, interpretation, language, meaning, memory, narrative, poetry, sonnets, ways of knowing

    4S4RLXn

     

    The familiar voice, a constant whip, rips

    Bits of metaphorical flesh to fleck

    The truculent air like a moist firework.

    If one listens— the recriminations

    Claw, maul, snag and cut to reshape the past;

    The pressure provides us old forms to drape

    Like silk shrouds upon the dead and dying.

     

    I hear the fears of my world, the cold doubt

    Niggling each broken phrase, like a dry catch

    At the back of the throat. I do not know

    What to believe, or which patch can still fix

    The tattered fabrications, or which will

    Transform into the next tale to be told

    Before the voice begins to speak again.

     

    (December 29, 2017)

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  • Orpheus and Eurydice

    by

    despair, erato, eros, half sonnets, happiness, love, mythic, poetry

    9082312670_0c06e1f9c1_b

     

    I find you in your eyes;

    Why do I turn away?

     

    (December 27, 2017)

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  • magic

    by

    belief, change, clarity, copy change, delusion, erasure, erato, happiness, life, offering, poetry, response, thinking, tired, traces, transition, ways of knowing, zen

     

    red-leaf-frost

    apologies to u-t-l

     

     

    silence surrounds,

    it spins, it grows.

     

    beings sprout

    in silence.

     

    the secret’s

    hope;

    listen:

     

    a snowflake

    kisses leaf’s tip

    at forest center.

     

     

    (December 26, 2017)

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  • To Hesitate

    by

    borders, desire, erato, eros, hesitation, liminal, lost, muse, paradigms, poetry, regret, relationships, sonnets

    original

     

    Always on the periphery

    Of many misunderstandings,

    She slowly dances alone

    Along the firelight’s flickered edge:

    Almost blind,

    Almost about to see.

     

    Shadows sway the light

    Back and forth like a lover’s

    First dance. Neither’s willing

    To take the lead; both desire

    To surrender. Their bodies

    Cleave each to each. She cannot

    Read his intent, nor its

    Inevitable consequence.

     

    (December 26, 2017)

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  • Crush It

    by

    belief, communication, conversation, delusion, desire, erato, eros, friends, hubris, interrelationships, love, middle-age, muse, poetry, relationships, romance

    30435e28-b2ba-440b-be21-b38543d926aa

     

    “yet, to crush this a little, it would bow to me”

                            —Malvolio, 12th Night, William Shakespeare

     

     

     

    I wasn’t one of them,

    I just want you to know—

    I wasn’t like those others

    She said almost as if she

    Believed what she said

     

    He smiled and nodded

    As she said it again

    But he knew as well

    As she that she was one

    Of them and was the same

     

    But he was in love and wanted

    Her to be what he wanted

    Her to be not with those

    Who were those who giggled

    And mocked his doleful thoughts

     

    Not that he cared then or now

    He was in love then as now

    And wonders now why she

    Wanted him so badly to know

    She wasn’t one of them

     

     

    (December 24, 2017)

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  • Dream Journal #33: Cross Over

    by

    acceptance, borders, broken, change, choice, dream, hope, life, liminal, paradigm shifts, poetry, tired

    529fd1fe3dfdd2144d687f2899fa853d

     

    at the edge waited a bridge

    made of clouds which stretched

    off toward a vanishing point

     

    I watched the slow sway

    of the span and hesitated

     

    lightning scarred the sky

    then night retook its domain

    I am still broken

     

    (December 22, 2017)

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  • to be aware is to vanish

    by

    attention, change, hope, life, paradigms, patience, poetry, process, silence

    stillness

     

    hold yourself

    still and watch

    the next minute pass

     

     

    without comment

    without reflection

    without thought

     

     

    (December 22, 2017)

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  • Drawl

    by

    attention, change, charm, communication, control, existential angst, liminal, mythic, narrative, paradigm shifts, poetics, poetry, social construction, ways of knowing, writing
    473321-f58fff18e079528c374df0cb2b93754b

    A time to speak up

     

    Think of it

    Not

    As punctuation,

    But rather

    Dialect, decorated

    By accented diacritical marks.

     

    If I speak in such

    A manner that’s averse

    To the way your words wander,

    Perhaps you should listen

    To how variations

    Play across our story:

     

    Resistance exists

    Along the blade

    Of consonant’s hiss and click.

    As the oldest god

    Has whispered before:

    The word changes the world.

    473321-f58fff18e079528c374df0cb2b93754b

    (December 20, 2017)

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  • Liar

    by

    acceptance, aging, alone, broken, change, delusion, desire, erato, eros, love, offering, poetry, social construction, sonnets, traces, truth, worn, worry

    masked-man

    “Above all, don’t lie to yourself.”

    — Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

     

    I can lie to myself easily enough,

    With small shifts in the story to adjust

    The present view, to accommodate

    a new façade on the old denouement.

     

    Although, it is less work to accept

    The dominant narrative; the mundane

    Given, leading toward an obvious proof;

    Someone else’s truth not your own.

     

    I am so tired, and there are so many

    Steps to manage the smallest crisis:

    What to buy for dinner? Should I change

    Lanes now, or wait a mile or two.

     

    I simply rearrange the bread crumbs

    I’ve dropped for you along the way.

     

    (December 20, 2017)

     

     

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  • Awakening

    by

    choice, control, creativity, delusion, dream, identity formation, meaning, memory, metaphor, narrative, paradigms, patterns, poetry, process, sonnets, transition

    9bba510d68115fde03d72c852b944402

     

    Each morning, I re-inscribe rituals

    For the approaching day, rescind

    The night’s remains with haste

    And diligence to avoid decay

    Into a more disruptive pattern.

    I move through the dark, from bed

    To stairs, as bits of dream and desire

    Intermingle like fireflies drifting

    Through a midsummer field.

    An echo of night’s constellations,

    I connect arbitrary bits in the past,

    Tracing lines into patterns I imagine,

    Until all my life’s lore is rewoven,

    And I step into the day fully clothed.

     

    (December 19, 2017)

     

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  • Prayer Beads

    by

    change, communication, hope, life, poetry, prayer, sonnets, transition, words

    1

     

    I drop the words

    Into my hands,

    Roll the syllables

    Through my fingers

    To feel their viscosity.

    The raw taste of blood

    Lingers along the consonant’s

    Sharp tang, bitter, yet

    Desperate to be devoured.

    I hunger for questions,

    Which will provide

    A key, a new translation,

    To open a door

    Through this emptiness.

     

    (December 18, 2017)

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  • as I speak

    by

    control, desire, erasure, interrelationships, language, muse, narrative, obsessions, poetics, poetry, power, relationships, sonnets, tension, trust, words

    t24jd_black_black-and-white_face_photography_monochrome-photography

     

    let me define you

    not as the fantasy

    you think you know

    as the one who listens

    but the transcendent you

    who listens vaguely

    into silence

    as the roiling dark

    devours your edges

    like slow kisses

    traced across

    your tense skin

    until you vanish

    beneath the words

     

    (December 16, 2017)

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  • Where I Am

    by

    acceptance, definition, delusion, poetry, ways of knowing, words

    i106_th

     

    a small difference

    between where I am

    and what I see

    determines today’s

    direction

     

    the wind buffets

    the cell I push

    against

    as if words

    can protect us

     

    (December 14, 2017)

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  • Blood in the Mouth

    by

    blame, delusion, inner speech, language, meaning, memory, obsessions, paradigms, patterns, poetry, sonnets, unstable

    d2eb67da89b857f74c467b950f915233

     

    As if thrown into the sea,

    I drown in myself. Adrift,

    Worn from lack of sleep again,

    I berate and taunt my past.

     

    Each faux pas, each arrogant

    Act, repeated and rehashed

    Until each cringe inducing

    Detail is nailed to my skin.

     

    Time does not layer armor

    Tightly enough to protect

    Against the internal thrusts,

     

    But rather sharpens the blade

    To more precisely dissect

    Each vein flowing from my heart.

     

    (December 14, 2017)

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  • Surety’s Loss

    by

    end, erato, eros, interrelationships, loss, memory, muse, perspective, poetry, relationships, traces

    1

     

    I hear your voice still,

    But as a whisper.

    The words wisp, like mist,

    And shift shape as lisped

    Past context’s vague edge.

    What was said lingers,

    A cold recompense

    To hold this absence.

     

    (December 14, 2017)

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