Map a Return Into the Ocean’s Lost Metaphor

There is no causality, no maze

to transcribe into memory,

simply a chance to breathe

near the bottom of the stairs;

and, like a mouth singing 

arias, I crack open the bones

in my chest to find a way

into the warm flesh, to dip

my worn fingers slowly in,

to feel the heart’s contours

define the next last moment,

to map another return into 

the ocean’s lost metaphor.

(August 25, 2021)

Each Moment Re-inscribes the Present (123)

like the good china handled

with delicate hands as if

the people pictured could be

shaken from the scene and lost

they are only brought out on holidays

or as we gather to bury the dead

who were the ones who knew them all

these photographs that stepped from context

as soon as the shutter snapped

the aunts uncles cousins friends pictured

within a tangled patchwork of memory

at their own holidays their own funerals

look back at us with our familiar eyes

wanting to know who we are what we’ve become

(February 25, 2021)

Without the Stories She Must Have Told

700-00041983 © Bryan Reinhart Model Release: No Property Release: No Blurred View of Hellbrunn Alley Salzburg, Austria

All I know of her is, perhaps, this 

three-second, eight-millimeter film clip:


discernibly old, she steps through shadows

next to a tall man, who is also in shadow.


Briefly from the sepia tress, she looks back 

towards the camera— her face a blurred silence.

(February 18, 2021)

a house without mirrors (121)

from what vantage point

can one see oneself

with a panoramic clarity

reserved

for history

and mountain ranges

in the spring


the answer of course lies

in one’s own myopic

vision blurred

with warm blankets

precise collars

and a dilettante’s 

book shelf

(February 13, 2021)

lacuna (112)

large or small a space

is only emptiness defined


a hermit crab lifts and peers

within a new shell’s prospect


examining the spiral depths

of the nothing there

(January 29, 2021)

as in fields of broken stone (109)

all the ropes and chains

and puppet strings

knotted about

our brittle bones

like love turn us

toward a hell

we’ve compensated for 

for years and years

where we coo and flutter

like lonesome doves

*
this is where i am this

is where you are this

is where i need to be

no where else but here

where i followed

continuity’s remains

like snails’ wet traces

through damp vegetal rot

where i find the eyes of the dead

laid on a cold plate

watching the mendicants

offer olives and oil

to a god

who cannot be bothered

to laugh

(January 25, 2021)

ambient fear (100)

on the edge of a field a rabbit

sits still as a new wind stirs her fur

with the resonant dangers nearby

thus the day’s anxieties flow

through my skin as if I were a net

tossed into the ocean’s pulse to collect

the bits of how I am defined

by everyone but me

the deeper I drop  the darker it becomes

and I am too tired all the time

to watch my last breath rise

in swirling bubbles like butterflies

lifting as one from a field of flowers

(December 6, 2020)

you forget yourself (97)

“interwoven by the tragic spiders of the present”

Ingeborg Bachman





I am not 

who i was

nor who I will be

I am only 

who I am

nothing 

and no one

nothing more 

than anyone





memory lies 

laughing

like autumn leaves 

feed

the ground 

from which spring

emerges 

knowing 

only itself

Moments that Do Not Need to be Accounted

As the last bits of sun brush

the sporadic clouds in pink.

late August heat flows slowly

across your skin like whispers.

Cicadas, nearby, hum desire to others

who hum along in the distance.

Even the trees are tired, dropping

their leaves like an old man’s regrets.

The moon, of course, rises once more

from the dark, alone and unnoticed.

(August 28, 2020)

Narrative’s Default

whose story

your story

my story

some other


someone speaks

some listen

some believe

some obey


here the page turns

hear the page turn

slow whispers

form a deaf ear


control’s the word’s

darkest destiny

(August 13, 2020)