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My Poetry and Commentary on Life

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Still Point

by

life, poetry, tension

This calm spins

a deceptive

balance.

Not so much

the calm

of a storm,

a momentary

break between

destructions,

a respite

from

the bullying wind,

but rather

a tense

calm

like the surface

of

water.

Whether in a glass

where the tension

holds the water

above the edge,

or in a lake

across which

a bug

skates

on long

thread-like

legs,

the calm belies.

Fish swirl,

dart,

break water

devouring

the oblivious

skater;

the water

pushes

against the glass

seeking

a return

to the sea.

Clouds

drift slowly

across

the mirrored

surface

of the lake.

This calm

makes me

nervous;

I’m thirsty

and reach

for the glass.

(from 115 Missing Days, 1996)

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stairs

by

acceptance, definition, fate, life, poetry, ritual, trust

“I change too quickly: my today refutes my yesterday. When I ascend I often jump over steps and no step forgives me that.”

–Friedrich Nietzsche

I plod up the stairs

take a step up

then sit

before stepping down

again

the step looks familiar

but it’s not

that was the one

from yesterday

today the stairs

still ascend as well

as return to the ground

I too change quickly

so much so

my today and yesterday

implode without

condemnation

nor forgiveness

no tomorrow

to refute that

stepping forward

or stepping back

I still stand

one foot above the other

(February 16, 2014)

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To Despair

by

i ching, poetry

February 21, 1995

The road splits;

indecision fixes me.

I should stay at home,

but I want to move.

Patience, not force,

clears this road of rocks.

(from “My Book of Changes,” 1994-1995)

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love poem

by

Uncategorized

to L.S.

from love

your passions

flower

like waves
of light

streaming

between the stars

to rain upon the earth

where my life grows

toward you

like vines

eternally

reaching

for the sun

(February 13, 2014)

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a choice

by

Arcana, control, life, liminal, paradigm shifts, poetry, tarot, trust

There is no reason

to continue the same,

to resist the demands

time does claim.

Cramped up in fear

of what might be lost,

like a penny crimped

within a vise,

the chance to change

refuses to unfold

as it would if one

would only let go.

Cling to the edge

of this abyss,

or fall back toward

a newer bliss?

(from a work in progress, “Arcana,” IVpentacles, February 13, 2014)

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the weight

by

Arcana, dissatisfaction, fate, poetry, tarot, ways of knowing, work

Almost home after years gone under

the whip and lash of it all.

That I’ve done this before does not ease

the struggle and boredom of the day:

pick up a stone, another cord of wood

until overburdened, then trudge on.

A redemptive end does not matter,

every task works on me like sin.

(from a work in progress: “Arcana,” Xwands, February 12, 2014)

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singular grace

by

doubt, fate, paradigms, poetry, ways of knowing

I wonder what confines you

to one answer one storyline

told well with no loose ends

to feel secure in a set outcome

that’s never truly in doubt

as if some god narrator tells

your story as you cross a street

distracted by the buxom woman

in the low-cut blue blouse

so much so you miss the bus

which smacks you like hubris

into oncoming traffic lanes

is life simplified when one believes

one word must follow the next

(February 11, 2014)

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the craft’s the master

by

Arcana, education, hope, life, poetry, process, tarot, teaching, time, ways of knowing

each differs in the making

the momentary decision

to cut here instead of there

or not at all is the art

learned in time with tools

in hand sensing the grain

in the slow shaving’s curl

before dropping to the floor

the craft’s the master

teaching day by day

from what formed before

the repetition and change

of each moment knowing

itself as it unfolds

(from a work in progress: “Arcana,”VIIIpentacles, February 10, 2014)

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in plain sight

by

Arcana, communication, fear, poetry, tarot

“Where am I standing, if I’m

to stand still now?”

–Denise Levertov

With furtive glances

over unsure feet,

I steel myself

against myself,

unsure

of what

to say:

excuses

have no reason

than to weave

another lie;

to tell the truth

is awkward

beneath a clearer sky.

I gather my words

like knives until

my tongue bleeds

into my hands.

I did not mean

to hurt you

in what I left behind.

(from a work in progress: “Arcana,” VIIswords, February 9, 2014)

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and provide for those who can’t

by

Arcana, borders, communication, erato, language, liminal, poetry, ways of knowing

The word is the window

through which, hands on glass,

we see the warm interior.

Learn to speak, to enter,

and all your hopes

will be comforted so.

Out here in the shivering

snow, one may only listen

for the salvation of her soul.

(from a work in progress, “Arcana,” Vpentacles, February 8, 2014)

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you fucked up

by

Arcana, fate, irony, life, poetry, resolve, tarot

your red regret wraps you

in a laughable inconsequence

the earth absorbs the wine

as if you were never there

so you fucked up so what

look to the wood near you

along this path a river runs

its rambling way to the sea

the past is never more than past

take stock of the time at hand

then pack up your remains and go

you are your only bridge home

(from a work in progress: “Arcana,” Vcups, February 8, 2014)

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foundations

by

Arcana, life, love, poetry, tarot

life radiates

the embrace

of our dance

uniting the sky

like a rainbow

between what

we were

and our

happiness

(from a work in progress: “Arcana,” Xcups, February 7, 2014)

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Tolerance Resists Control

by

acceptance, definition, identity formation, irony, poetry, response

what you

choose

to do

for you

is perfect

for you

to do

until you

tell me

to do

it too

whether

a straight

behest

or mocking

satire

you need

not explain

yourself

to me

by telling

me

to be

like you

(February 7, 2014)

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Trinity

by

Arcana, communication, community, conversation, meaning, memory, poetry, social construction, tarot

three paths join in a wood

wise able and strong

each heads their own way

each committed to their time

but within this moment

their three journeys stayed

by whispered conversations

over hand shakes and nods

They speak of past and future

until presently engaged again

each departs subtly changed

by the constant push and pull

of the one upon the others

becoming and being themselves

(from a work in progress: “Arcana,” IIIpentacles, February 7, 2014)

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Looking for a Catalyst

by

Arcana, critical theory, desire, dissatisfaction, identity formation, life, meaning, paradigm shifts, poetry, resolve, tarot

I should be content with

            bourgeois comfort

            tend to my roses

            swill wine with friends

I should be pleased

            if not smug

            with the knick-knacks

            and dust I’ve acquired

I should wallow

            in self-assured pity

            that I deserve

            everything about me

But I can’t so I must

            change my life

(from a work in progress: “Arcana,” Queenpentacles, February 6, 2014)

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