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My Poetry and Commentary on Life

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  • Fail Better

    by

    attention, broken, chance, creativity, dissatisfaction, essay, humility, memoir, patience, process, revision, samsara, work, writing

    The thing is you won’t live long

    anyway

    the thing is to see where you are

    While you are—

    —George Oppen

    fool, look out the window

    And write

    —George Oppen

    You must go on. I can’t go on. I’ll go on.

    ― Samuel Beckett

    I made the mistake of looking at an old “manuscript” from about 15 years ago. I made it about 10-12 pages in before I ran across a couple of lines that I could call good enough to be poetry. There are about 40 more pages to go. I hesitate to go on. I have always over the decades cycled up and down in my opinion of my writing. I know, every writer has doubts. But that does not make it any less depressing when I am plummeting, nor any more justifiable when I am flying high. I remember Robert Frost saying somewhere that he didn’t write experimental poetry, because experimental poem was another name for failed poem. The poem either worked or it did not. If it did, then it was not an experiment; if it failed, then it wasn’t a poem. The old manuscript was not a poem—which was depressing. Instead it was a series of posturing hoping without hope to somehow adhere from one poem/stanza/blither to another without any real attempt on my part beyond “chance” in some misguided belief that John Cage’s ghost would descend to lead me out of the wilderness of my hubris. I take solace in the belief that I knew it was crap, because I put it away and never really looked at it for the last 15 years. I somehow knew without knowing….I am smarter than I let myself be (to use a mantra I said about my students on myself).* My current plan is to plow through the fallow field, and see if there are some living roots that can be salvaged. It will be a trudge. But then, what else would I be doing.

    *They are smarter than we let them be.

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  • seventh heaven patti smith

    by

    books, identity formation, life, literacy, literature, memoir, reader response, reading

    I re-read “Seventh Heaven” by Patti Smith last night. Around Christmas of 1977, I was participating in a UIL speech tournament at Austin High School. There are a number of stories connected to this trip, none of which have to do with the topic at hand: “Seventh Heaven” by Patti Smith. I had both of Patti Smith’s albums at the time: Horses, and Radio Ethiopia. I was enamored of her and the very different aesthetic she projected into my 16-year- old mind. While on a break from the speech tournament, we went to an independent book store near UT, Grok Books. There in the poetry section (one that was not like the poetry offerings in Victoria, Texas), I found a book of poetry by Patti Smith. It cost $2.95. What a deal. I remember reading it in the cafeteria/auditorium of Austin High School as we waited to see if we had placed in Duet Acting. One of the girls on the trip asked to see what I was reading.  She read the poem “Fantasy,” quickly handed it back to me with a look of confused distaste.  “You like this?” I had to admit— I did. Still do. More so, I think, for the nostalgia of it all, than for the poetry itself. But as Roger Shattuck wrote: we spend a lifetime reading and studying poetry in an attempt to understand, and then try to read it once again with an innocent eye. Can’t really do that.

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  • Quick Take after re-reading Jim Harrison’s “After Ikkyu”

    by

    attention, ikkyu, Jim Harrison, Language and Literacy, literacy, literature, meditation, memoir, reader response, reading

    I read “After Ikkyu” by Jim Harrison again last night. Over the last 30 years I must have read this book 30-40 times all the way through (It is short), and then countless other times dipped into it for psychic and spiritual relief. After Ikkyu was another book I stumbled across at a Half-Price books. I had never heard of Jim Harrison, and had never heard of Ikkyu, so that day I pulled After Ikkyu off the shelf was an important date in my poetic literacy. Harrison over the next few months quickly became my favorite poet and novelist. I even read his memoir, and collection of essays written for foodie magazines. The poems in After Ikkyu are modeled after the Japanese poet Ikkyu. They are brief observations about the fleeting nature of life, and our constant inability to see the beauty right in front of us. The poems are imagisticly clean, and delivered with a wry sense of humor. Every time I read them I am stunned by their beauty, craftsmanship, wisdom and wit. 

    (February 28, 2025)

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  • Thought Problem

    by

    abstract, agency, attention, awareness, clarity, meditation, poetry, reading, response, ways of knowing, writing, zen

    “way leads onto way”

    Robert Frost

    I was reading a poem

    about how hard it is

    to attend to the world

    with all its distractions,

    and; I lose that poem

    to my thoughts of the poem.


    Even now, as I write

    this poem about losing

    the poem I read,

    I lose the thoughts

    in my head, and the poem

    I meant to write instead.

    (February 27, 2025)

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  • Solstice Prayer

    by

    Arcana, charm, fear, god, hope, life, offering, paradigms, poetry, prayer, ritual, social construction, time, transition

    we pour this wine for the earth

    that gives us a place to stand


    we pour this wine for the air

    that gives us breath to speak


    we pour this wine for water

    which gives us life on the planet


    we pour this wine for the fire

    which purifies our failings


    we pour this wine for the ether

    which connects us to the world


    we pour this wine as an offering

    that we may survive the dark

    that the madness will spare us

    and we will return to the light

    (February 25, 2025)

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  • Quick Response to “The Laughter of the Sphinx” by Michael Palmer

    by

    memory, poetry, response, reading, reader response, surrealism, memoir, objectivism, books

    I found “The Laughter of the Sphinx” by Michael Palmer on one of our bookshelves a couple of days ago. I finished it today. Back in the early 80’s while still an undergrad at UTAustin, I spent an inordinate amount of time in the Half-Price Book store which was then located at 15th and Lavaca (now torn down and replaced by a bank building, like much of Austin). I would spend hours going through the record albums, or poetry section, both of which were rather large. (Poetry is no longer a very large section in any of the Half-Price book stores nowadays). Emily Dickinson wrote that she knew something was poetry when the back of her head exploded when she read it. In the early 80’s, while my head did not explode, I would feel the words thicken on the page, taking on a physicality which went beyond the page. This would happen even if I could not understand what the poem was saying. I felt this when I read Pound and Ashbery for the first time, and still happens whenever I read Dickinson.  It happened when I read Michael Palmer’s “Notes for Echo Lake” standing in the cold aisle of the poorly heated Half-Price Books. Over the years I continued to read and buy copies of Palmer’s work. I’m not sure he has gotten easier to read, or I am not as shallow a reader as I was in my early 20’s, but I did find more to hang on to than I did in my youth. If you have not read Palmer, “The Laughter of the Sphinx” would be a good place to start. It is an abstract and surrealistic delight, while sometimes taking on the concrete feel of the Objectivists. Perhaps I’ve been reading too much George Oppen lately, but several times in “The Laughter of the Sphinx” the poems read like Objectivist pieces. In an interview I read with Palmer decades ago, he said he did not like the term avant-garde because it assumed a direction. I love getting lost in his poetry.

    (February 22, 2025)

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  • in the end

    by

    alone, awareness, communication, erato, interrelationships, love, muse, poetics, poetry, relationships, unspoken, words

    he did not mention

    any more than did she

    what was never said


    those parts off stage

    never explained yet

    implicit to the scene


    the vast open silences

    their words spoke into


    the vast open silences

    their words tried to seal


    the resonant confessions

    which adhered 

    (February 21, 2025)

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  • the residue of dead explanations

    by

    interrelationships, poetry, serial poem, ways of knowing

    1

    the chihuahua. chases his tail

    spinning and spinning

    ever faster, then stops


    as if it slipped his mind

    as if it never existed

    as if not a part of him


    2
    no redemption no salvation

    for the innocent no sins forgiven

    except those perpetrated by us


    3
    memory tightens even as lived

    the street where I lived was not

    the street i lived even as I walked it


    4

    the details left in the burning village

    the character arcs tangled in the bodies

    left in the streets their chores undone


    5
    fifty years in my head were other

    people’s lives written over mine

    each revision scraped a layer clean


    6
    I don’t know what to say anymore

    all the shades slither a dance

    along the edge of the trees


    a slow shuffle forward three back two

    enough to circumnavigate the field

    to find only this overtime

    (February 19, 2025)

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  • Cold Winter Day

    by

    daily haiku, haiku, poetry

    a wind chime rattles

    like bones in a broken cup—

    few people drive by

    (February 19, 2025)

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  • Late Afternoon 

    by

    aging, haiku, poetry, time

    a honey bear sits

    silently on the table

    next to cold tea bags

    (February 17, 2025)

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  • The Name of Things

    by

    assignment, language, meaning, metaphor, poetry, prompt, truth, words

    A hawk slips between the trees,

    silently like a child’s paper plane.

    Here is no truth lassoed tightly

    by a smug Wonder Woman.

    For what is truth? The mountain

    is still a mountain, despite its name.

    We see it—imposible to deny—

    but we insist words mean more,

    tripping over them like shoelaces

    as we cower in the short grass, and

    listen for air as the hawk descends.

    (February 6, 2025)

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  • Another of Life’s Cliches

    by

    cliche, death, emo, pessimism, poetry

    As the blood drips

    from the slit wrist,

    he turns away.

    He decides, perhaps,

    it is better to sit,

    and slides down the wall

    as the razor drops

    with a clatter

    to the floor.

    (February 10, 2025)

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  • One Death as Good as Another

    by

    choice, melodrama, poetry, politics

    I want to fall

    to be in the storm

    through the night

    the wind breaking branches

    above my head

    rain lashing the air

    with elemental righteousness


    instead I cower

    in the dubious safety

    of this cave

    huddled against a stone

    with no reason to believe

    the rising water

    will not continue

    until I drown

    (February 7,  2025)

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  • Quick Take: Beyond the Limit by Irina Ratushinskaya

    by

    books, courage, erasure, literature, memory, politics, reader response, reading, response

    Poems of witness. Too bad they must continue to be written. These were written by a 27 year old woman in the dying Soviet Union’s gulags. Carved into soap with a matchstick, then washed away after being memorized.

    And then they’ll torch the cattle, houses with napalm,

    measure the children with wheels of a tank,

    level walls to the ground.

    But maybe they won’t touch the crazed old women—

    and don’t keep bringing up the schoolbook: the condemned

    know the histories—

    time’s worn thin above the place of execution, begins to leak.

    God grant you don’t learn what the wife of salt will see:

    a PPSh machine gun or a short Roman sword?

    —23 July 1984

    Irina Ratushinskaya

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  • All Time is Now

    by

    agency, art, audacity, books, change, courage, life, literature, narrative, optimism, patterns, poetry, politics, reader response, ways of knowing, writing

    This morning, I pulled a book of unread Russian poetry

    off of the shelf. It was contemporary when I bought it

    forty years ago. The Soviet Union still had a few years

    left to force its tight ideological voices to sing together.

    The poet had been condemned to prison for being

    a poet — the audacity! Standing there in front of full

    bookshelves, I read a few of her poems. She spoke

    of silences, talking through walls at night, friendships,

    fear, love, and hope for a future, vague and undetermined.

    Outside the light changed, it grew darker and forty years

    vanished within the pages of the slim book of poetry

    I held in my hands. Beneath the deafening drum beat

    demanding one voice, one monomaniacal lie, I heard, 

    through our fears, a hope begin to scratch at our walls.

    (February 4, 2025)

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