There are no gods
to absolve
vain transgressions.
Stripped bare,
little’s left,
but flesh,
and a sack
of broken emotions:
shame, regret,
hollow laughter–
a thin grist to feed
what ever’s left.
The man remains–
the fool!
(December 30, 2018)
Ecce Homo
Category: despair
Harness
I step out the door,
Another muggy fall day:
Mules trudge through the field.
Mud slowly sucks at my step;
I shall fall and become earth.
(September 20, 2018)
Quiet Desperation
I’ve never been free:
approbation and fear
a constant tap-tap
at my shoulder,
as a reminder— “No,
do not go there.
Stay inside this truth.
It’s comfortable here.”
Justly, it is never
too warm to sweat,
nor cold enough to shiver.
There are no bears here,
lost in their quandaries
as to my medial decisions.
(September 3, 2018)
The Only Safe Word is Silence
I am not being
listened to means
you are not being
submissive enough
do not speak
simply act
on my desires
do not question
questions cause doubt
I must not hear
as insecurities
rattle like chains
for me to be free
you must not be
(June 8, 2018)
Empty Bowl
In almost a religious ritual,
he castigates his niggling doubts
in a timid formality of failure.
Even now, as he folds his thoughts
neatly into another inaction,
a new desire falls softly to regret
like crumbs from a banquet table
scatter slowly across the floor.
Doubt and regret feed each other
a fetid feast lavished with fear.
He imagines a different world
free from this hunger, where he moves
forthrightly without pity, instead
of staring blankly at an empty bowl.
(March 14, 2018)
suicidal abstraction
I drown in increments.
Pebbles added to my pockets,
like time, pull me to earth.
I’m bored with minutia,
the cynical laugh
in disdain’s cheap fear.
My eyes ache; shadows,
like dark angels, run
with knives between rooms,
searching for something
to clean the blood off
the brain-slicked walls.
(March 6, 2018)
My Own Abyss
To resist
My
Dismantling,
The nibble
And nip
Of niggling voices,
I must stop
Listening
To myself—
The snide
Mocking
Laughter
Which waits
To eviscerate.
(January 9, 2018)
