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My Poetry and Commentary on Life

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  • Slow Read

    by

    poetry, reading

    A few days ago I read about a thing called a Slow Read. You choose a book of poetry by a single author (I added in not a collected works), then each day you read one poem out of that book several times during the day. The next day you do the same with the next poem in the book, and continue until the book is finished. ( I also added in the further restrictions that it had to be a book I had not read yet, and it had to be by a woman). I am starting today. I am going to slow read the 2010 Pulitzer Prize winner in poetry: Versed by Rae Armantrout.

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  • Solace in Hope

    by

    acceptance, borders, chance, change, haiku, hope, paradigms, poetry, prayer, process, tired

    All day the rain fell

    Soaking the cold winter ground

    The year ends tonight

    (December 31, 2020)

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  • shadows near shadows far away (103)

    by

    acceptance, borders, breach, cliche, control, identity formation, interpretation, interrelationships, meditation, middle-age, patterns, poetry, relationships, response, sonnets, tired

    as if trapped in a net of shadow

    afternoon light through the window

    struggles on the opposite wall 

    to form a coherent pattern where

    a difference may be discerned

    between shadows near and far away


    outside the oak and elm stand mute

    allowing the air to whisper for them

    allowing easy cliches to answer

    decades of hardened blood

    to answer questions never asked

    to form opinions from shadow

    as old palimpsests below the scars

    re-inscribe the day hour by hour

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  • Reflection’s Projections

    by

    context, interpretation, interrelationships, love, poetry, repost

    “the other is the figure of my truth, and cannot be imprisoned in any stereotype (which is the truth of others).”

                            –Roland Barthes

    He is no more this, than she

    Permits outside the walls

    He hides behind. No trope

    To be conjured within, she

    Vaguely files her nails,

    And thinks of him less

    Than what to have done

    At the spa. He knows

    Her as he imagines,

    Not as she is told. She

    Believes she does not

    Change outside herself,

    As much as he desires

    Her to be more than both.

    (June 15, 2017)

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  • what silence waits to give voice

    by

    aging, borders, elemental, meditation, mythic, poetry, sonnets, ways of knowing

    how much must be

    etched across the glass

    like ice across the lake

    before I can hear

    the ravens in the wood

    caw out their hunger

    before the dark wings’

    fluttered descent disguises

    the sharp peck and pull

    that is my final vision

    what silence waits

    as an echo’s first reflection

    before it wraps itself again

    around the trees like snow

    (December 24, 2020)

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  • to divine the past (102)

    by

    chance, dance, delusion, interpretation, liminal, meditation, memory, poetry, traces, ways of knowing, work in progress

    from any chance moment

    wherever you happen to be

    like light and dark dancing

    across the forest floor

    memory without warning

    will step out from a phrase

    to raise the ancient dead 

    the way dust devils 

    on cool autumn afternoons 

    will twirl lifeless leaves into the air 

    like moon-pale bacchants 

    arms twisting above their heads

    then within your next thought

    let fall still trembling to the ground

    leaving you ashamed for some act 

    of cowardice or petty remorse 

    at best remembered less if at all 

    and then only as a trace of flame 

    flickering shadows upon a wall

    (December 21, 2020)

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  • Why I Carry Multiple Pens

    by

    poetry

    I went to get a pen

    which I normally have nearby,

    and forgot by the time I found one

    what I was to write.

    (December 17, 2020)

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  • continuous balm (101)

    by

    aging, change, difference, dissatisfaction, life, meditation, memory, paradigms, patterns, poetry, process, process, not a journey, time, traces, travel, ways of knowing, work in progress

    “but little thought”

    —W. Wordsworth

    today as I drive past sorghum fields

    on my way to work I recall

    a train in the Netherlands

    decades ago moving through tulip fields

    long strides of red and yellow

    that stepped toward the horizon

    (December 8, 2020)

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  • ambient fear (100)

    by

    acceptance, broken, chance, change, definition, fear, frustration, meditation, poetry, work in progress

    on the edge of a field a rabbit

    sits still as a new wind stirs her fur

    with the resonant dangers nearby

    thus the day’s anxieties flow

    through my skin as if I were a net

    tossed into the ocean’s pulse to collect

    the bits of how I am defined

    by everyone but me

    the deeper I drop  the darker it becomes

    and I am too tired all the time

    to watch my last breath rise

    in swirling bubbles like butterflies

    lifting as one from a field of flowers

    (December 6, 2020)

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  • high mountain lake (99)

    by

    borders, breach, chance, change, fate, identity formation, life, meditation, poetry, process, traces, work in progress

    “where absent-minded prophets come to drown”

    —Benjamin Peret

    near the water’s edge he sat

    as if waiting for something

    momentous to occur


    although the sun shimmered

    brightly across the water

    the mountain air was cold


    for a moment he sensed someone

    watching from the trees

    he turned but nothing waited there


    far away his life changed

    as he watched the light

    dance along the water’s surface


    he swam out slowly

    to the middle of the lake

    and sank into the dark


    (December 3, 2020)

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  • chronic cough (98)

    by

    acceptance, aging, chance, change, death, family, interrelationships, liminal, loss, meditation, poetry, relationships, traces, ways of knowing, work in progress

    when mom died

    we scattered her ashes

    near the New Sweden cemetery


    the chill wind swirled

    like a witch’s spell

    I inhaled then spat her out


    today a cold wind dances

    fall leaves down the street

    I cough slightly then spit

    (December 2, 2020)

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  • you forget yourself (97)

    by

    chance, change, definition, identity formation, life, meditation, poetry, time

    “interwoven by the tragic spiders of the present”

    —Ingeborg Bachman

    
    
    
    
    

    I am not 

    who i was

    nor who I will be

    I am only 

    who I am

    nothing 

    and no one

    nothing more 

    than anyone

    
    
    
    
    

    memory lies 

    laughing

    like autumn leaves 

    feed

    the ground 

    from which spring

    emerges 

    knowing 

    only itself

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  • how much self-denigration must occur (96)

    by

    broken, chance, change, despair, dissatisfaction, frustration, poetry, process, process, not a journey, work in progress

    if i gnaw out my fragile heart

    canines slavering through flesh

    the way wolves trapped

    will desperately gnaw off 

    a leg to escape the hunter

    will I be free with only a blood 

    limped trace dropped like roses

    through freshly fallen snow

    to mark my passage like stale crumbs

    scattered across the frozen forest floor

    a vaguely cogent sentence fragment

    to parse a meaning into salvation

    will I see in time the breach

    open wide enough to squeeze

    rock against chest between

    tightly held breaths balanced

    on a desperate fear that I have

    lost the best bits of myself

    (December 1, 2020)

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  • Thanksgiving

    by

    aging, breach, broken, clarity, control, gratitude, identity formation, meditation, poetry

    When my mother died,

    I did not get another—

    one being 

    more than enough

    for a lifetime.

    (November 20, 2020)

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  • parenthesis (95)

    by

    abstract, borders, chance, control, erasure, language, Language and Literacy, memory, poetry, process, work in progress

    with an accent slightly different

    than any dialect spoken here

     a hole opens around us like an amoeba

    and we are contained within 

    an other’s misinterpretation

    as if we were not a part

    of the conversation like a rock

    is not a part of the river

    which erases incrementally

    shaping the rock as it surges past

    oblivious like memory to the change

    as each remembrance rises

    to take dominion everywhere

    if only for the moment it takes

    to speak and then to unhear

    all the patterns which brought us here

    (November 19, 2020)

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