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My Poetry and Commentary on Life

  • This Writer’s Beginnings: EarlyYears
  • Bread Loaf Influence
  • Rock and Roll High School
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  • a simple charm

    by

    charm, communication, desire, erato, eros, interrelationships, poetry
    to bring you
    to fruition
    watch my hands
    as I talk
    watch their travels
    stolid and clever
    slip across your skin
    along your spine
    the nape of your neck
    enrapt and enwrap  
    you like the air
    I breathe
    in soft whispers
    to your ear

    (June 29, 2015)

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  • Future Self-Portrait in a Concave Mirror

    by

    abstract, attention, change, existential angst, poetry, transition

    held at arm’s length
    I try to see myself
    in a concave mirror
    an abstract confession
    of an image I pretend is me
    in order to come to some
    clichéd absolution
    but I become bored so
    I stand arms flail
    the air I lose balance
    against the nothing
    such a plodding gait
    there’s not so much left
    but a stumble to an end

    (June 27, 2015)

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  • Hoarding

    by

    erato, loss, poetry
    The bolt, the screw
    left over could find
    a use somewhere,
    someday. Who can
    predict a future?
    Near the end,
    I said I feared
    to lose a friend
    (one I never had);
    I did not lose,
    but rather watched
    her fade from my
    inconsequence.
    (June 26, 2015)

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  • become absence

    by

    aging, change, poetry, transition
    “I had to get rid of everything unnecessary… in order to save myself.
    –Arvo Part
    Fade, my darkness,
    blend into shadow’s
    camouflage another
    metaphor for love.
    I rarely know what’s
    to know, what’s hidden:
    my language is bare
    to bear bone’s nuance.
    Each word unwinds
    a trail into night
    creating only flickers
    to dance a shadow.
    I begin to fade
    to find myself.
    (June 26, 2012)

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  • the difficulty

    by

    anger, existential angst, humility, poetry
    “The matter, I hope, is not great, sir, begging but a beggar: Cressida was a beggar.”—William Shakespeare, 12th Night
    is not how
    but in how
    not to beg
    how not
    to shuffle
    cap in hand
    asking for a job
    that pays little
    how not to beg
    for a promotion
    for a place to live
    which you can afford
    for food
    that has not been poisoned
    or genetically modified
    for time from work
    for your interests
    for your mind
    for your friends and family
    for the dignity
    to gracefully die

    (June 25, 2015)

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  • Pronoun’s Metaphor

    by

    abstract, attention, communication, erato, interrelationships, poetry
    I think about you often still
    and what it means to speak of you
    as if you were some other
    to be conjured around a fire
    a simple shift in the dance
    from first to second person
    or to the gendered third
    of he and she or the diverse
    yet inclusive plural they and we
    all in order to transform beneath
    another guise as untrustworthy
    as this I we use to give voice
    to our muttered chants and words
    and they are our words more than mine
    or yours or even vaguely his or hers
    we share them like kisses and caresses
    to seduce and  assuage our guilt
    with misunderstanding’s complicity
    I think of you this way too often
    substituting a he or she as avatars
    to distance us from the consequences
    choking with misapprehension any life
    which might grow between you and I

    (June 23, 2015)

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  • Tableau Vivant

    by

    assignment, chance, change, dance, despair, happiness, poetry, response, traces

    Here is a madwoman, dancing, while she vaguely remembers something. She longs to possess it, grasping the air with hands broken like branches.  As she dances, naked, down the road, the memory tangles through her hair. Between her desire and memory, she can feel herself smudge into darkness.  It is something like the smoke that slid long ago through the hallways of the house she once lived in. They were all happy as time flowed around them. They danced to a music that passed between them like birds flitting through branches. He held her then as if she were as fragile as air. Her memory becomes her partner, but not the partner of her memory. He was as solid as stone on the day she first saw him. He arrived with spring’s flowers igniting the air with their passion; its echoes now flow thick like water and ash. Now everything’s cold and winter never ends. His hands were like fire caressing the kindling of her body. Time was eternal and demanded no penance.  Their laughter was joyous and private; the children all danced, giggling around them. When the last child died, she wept alone by the fire. Now children chase her and throw stones at her, as if she were a blackbird.
    seed text: The Songs of Maldoror, by Le Comte de Lautrémont

    (June 23, 2015)

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  • abstract #5: short attention span

    by

    abstract, attention, chance, control, narrative, poetry, traces, writing
    I cannot read straight
    sliding right along a line
    until sense attains a point
    at the sentence’s end.
    With smeared demarcation,
    proximity creates connection
    until the sloppish phrase serves
    to resonate an angelic chord.
    Possibilities spread
    like alluvial  fans;
    a river’s frayed end
    absorbed by its future.
    I wander between lines:
    lost in another search,
    confused by bread crumbs,
    distracted by markers;
    there’s always too much
    to do to contain it all
    within my margins set
    somewhere by someone.

    (June 21, 2015)

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  • Memory’s Fiction

    by

    acceptance, change, definition, poetry, sonnets, transition
    the possibilities fall away
    like glaciers into the sea
    until what remains is you
    as you were meant to be
    in retrospect destiny’s easy
    to see for what is is always
    the only way anything can be
    but only for now for change
    stands on a crumbling ledge
    eager to fall into the arms
    of the accepting breeze
    we are memory’s fiction
    the past is our present
    and a step stops possibility
    (June 19, 2015)

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  • tree of knowledge

    by

    god, language, love, poetry, ways of knowing
    fear snakes through your bones
    like a python along a branch
    sniffing the air with its darting
    tongue insinuating itself
    around your heart swallowing
    within its fatal coils
    any possibility for love
    to protect us against god

    (June 18, 2015)

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  • dark absence beyond life

    by

    abstract, death, life, poetry
    heaven forbids so much of life
    provides no answers beyond
    dictum to assuage the absence
    which looms ahead in the dark
    there is so little of us beyond
    memory to fill the absence
    of certainty with a shadowy dark
    as if our thoughts were our life
    instead of a clotting absence
    we use to staunch the dark
    from opening like flowers into a life
    which flows through us and beyond
    into the constant unfolding dark
    which could become a joyous life
    despite our fear of what lies beyond
    our insignificant absence
    the dark absence beyond life
    a life beyond absence’s dark

    (June 17, 2015)

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  • you were rain

    by

    change, erato, poetry, transition

    the stark air
    dries the skin
    until it cracks
    like eggshells
    edges crumble
    vaguely into sand
    along lines
    never defined
    I want you
    like me to be
    someone else
    somewhere else
    wet and tangled
    within a kiss
    but there’s nowhere
    other than here
    too many strings tied
    into too many knots
    I cannot unravel
    myself into you
    memory’s parched
    remnants shimmer
    these mirages
    into dust

    (June 11, 2015)

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  • Abstract #4: Borealis

    by

    abstract, chance, change, fear, happiness, poetry
    “What matters most in certain situations is to curb euphoria in time.”
    –Rene Char
    As when the sun bends
    laconically over the horizon
    pulsing auras throughout
    the arctic sky
    before being absorbed
    into the infinite night,
    the thrum of fear
    furs the skin
    with an ecstatic edge
    as a final caution
    against the possibility
    of death, which euphoria
    contends cannot be:
    happiness dulls the wary
    eye to pain, allows
    delusion to drape
    ignorance in wide swaths
    across vision’s field,
    until everything seen
    dissolves into tears.
    (June 8, 2015)

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  • Dream Journal #22: Life’s Presents

    by

    aging, attention, clarity, dream, happiness, life, poetry, process, traces, transition, ways of knowing
    “Ride life straight to perfect laughter”
    –Charles Bukowski
    in another room
    not this one
    lisa’s birth cries
    flow like arias
    into the night
    one midwife reads
    a medical text
    at the kitchen table
    I should be worried
    but I’m not
    presently donna arrives
    late but expected
    with a bottle of wine
    and a half-empty calendar
    of Li Po poems
    we laugh and hug
    as she pours a glass
    it slips like time
    through her fingers
    shards of glass and wine
    flow red across the floor
    and I wake as much
    as any of us ever can
    twenty years late
    into a different house
    with a delicacy like glass
    I pick up bits of dream
    and try to write it all
    before I slip further away
    into the day’s current
    present tense
    and can no longer
    separate what happens now
    from what happens then
    or one dream into another

    (June 7, 2015)

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  • the silence after

    by

    breach, change, communication, love, poetry, transition
    My heart’s arteries
    entangle my tongue,
    puppet strings to pull
    a curled locution
    from the deceptive air.
    I’m unsure what to say
    that can remain mine:
    what agency am I allowed
    within joy’s paradox?
    Yet another clichéd trope
    offers only clichéd
    responses as sacrifice
    to unsought desire.
    Words can no more
    serve as an arbiter
    to a languishing love
    than broken plates
    scattered on the floor.
    (June 7, 2015)

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