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My Poetry and Commentary on Life

  • This Writer’s Beginnings: EarlyYears
  • Bread Loaf Influence
  • Rock and Roll High School
  • About

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  • Reconciliation

    by

    borders, breach, interrelationships, poetry, relationships, social construction, sonnets, storytelling, truth, ways of knowing

    Unintended, random like dice, or love

    the stories fell into place, puzzle parts

    as remembered, and retold as punch lines

    to a deflected tragedy one night

    late after almost all had departed.

    You spoke into your anguish. I listened,

    troubled in my failed attempt at reason,

    for what you had said tore into my heart.

    How can anyone know the genetic

    strands of what we have said to each other?

    where the safe world we have constructed shapes

    us from the lies we have neatly explained

    until the only truth we know is ours,

    tangled in our hearts’ cold reliquaries.

    (November 21, 2021)

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  • Last Day’s Wait

    by

    aging, alone, death, end, memory, poetry, process

    He was dying slowly, and I

    was impatient.


    The bell, sewn on his pillow,

    called and called.


    All afternoon as it rang,

    I would go to him.


    He would whisper slurred words,

    as I leaned into his deaf ears.


    What do you need? What can I do?

    Water? Do you want water?

    He’d groan, his eyes lost

    somewhere in the distance.


    What do you need? What do you want?

    As if  I did not know.



    (November 18, 2021)

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  • I Try

    by

    aging, attention, life, lists, meditation, poetry, thinking, tired

    to be here

    to be happier

    more often

    than not

    to laugh

    without bitterness

    to disengage

    the past

    cut loose

    those chains

    to drink less

    to be less scattered

    to be less

    to not be afraid

    to not be

    here


    (November 16, 2021)

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  • My Grandson Asks My Son

    by

    aging, art, children, family, happiness, life, poetry

    thanks to They Might Be Giants

    “What’s a soul,

    and how do you build a bird house

    in it?”


    My soul ached then,

    as he built a space

    larger than the sky:


    the bluest wonder widened

    within, opening his nascent world

    to dawn’s infinite chorus,


    and I rose with the song

    to a dance

    I had thought forgotten.


    When did I lose such trust

    in the fragile

    feathers of love?


    (November 14, 2021)

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  • It’s Not Cold; It’s Nothing

    by

    acceptance, aging, broken, poetry, ways of knowing, worn

    I look out and see the sun;

    I feel no warmth.


    I do not want to be here,

    but I have nowhere else to go.


    I would say I’m unhappy,

    but that implies happiness


    existed as a measure

    to gauge an amount of rain.


    If I listed all my faults,

    I’d have something to do.


    Today was much like yesterday:

    hot, dry, and lonely;


    The sun slowly shimmers

    the surface of the lake, like ice.

    (November 11, 2021)

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  • A Problem with Narrative Poetry

    by

    lament, life, narrative, paradigms, poetics, poetry, snarky, writing

    You begin with some mundane action,

    which is not so mundane, of course,

    as the poem progresses casually,

    like a suburban park’s path,

    along an implied narrative’s arc.


    Then some fragile moment occurs—

    perhaps a squirrel who, startled, stops

    mid-path to stare for an instant,

    it’s dark eyes questioning your life

    before fleeing into the nearby brush.


    Then you turn on an epiphany; and,

    rising above the path and squirrel

    like a Pentecostal dove on fire,

    you signal your transcendent virtue

    to all those who pause to understand.


    So, the poem comes to a cliched close

    softly condescending so as to not

    offend any who might see themselves

    mocked behind any veiled smirks

    or metaphor they might find here.

    (November 7, 2021)

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  • I had a poem Published.

    by

    poetry

    I had a poem, Identity, in the second issue of Acropolis Journal. It was part of my collaborative project with my sister, a visual artist. I wrote a poem using each card of the tarot as a palimpsest, and she illustrated the major arcana. Here is a link to Acropolis Journal.

    https://acropolisjournaluk.wixsite.com/acropolisjournal/kelly-neal-identity

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  • Net Worth

    by

    acceptance, aging, despair, doubt, poetry, regret

    Like raw clay upon a wheel,

    I twist decades’ old regrets

    to shape my truth with desire

    to be some other than I am.

    As if life’s embarrassment

    could be stripped away, like skin

    cut loose in great bloody skeins,

    free from doubt’s infinite knots:

    Tangled in old fishing lines,

    I am trapped within myself.

    The only recourse is guilt

    inlaid along my arms’ veins

    like intricate red nets flung

    across a river’s slow wash.

    (November 4, 2021)

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  • The Function of Memory

    by

    aging, haiku, life, paradigms, patterns, poetry, process, sonnets, syllabics, tanka, time

    (four haiku and a tanka couplet refrain)

    The flames slip across

    the old wood in the fire pit.

    I think of you.


    My life trails behind

    before I step into it.

    I’ve been here before.


    I am always here.

    Today, I lost who I am:

    I tripped on a root.


    I see who you were

    when I fell in love with you.

    Forty years slip past.


    A mountain is a mountain;

    a river flows to the sea.

    (October 31, 2021)

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  • Will the Answer be Worth the Question

    by

    creativity, desire, doubt, melodrama, muse, poetry, silence, sonnets, worry, writing


    For several days, I don’t write at all,

    then start to worry I won’t write again.

    Not that it matters to anyone else,

    except me and the niggling voice within.

    I know, time to think will quiet the voice

    which fills the silence like an open wound;

    for Time’s a negligent god, not caring

    if I pick up any of the dry bones

    she casually drops as talismans

    on this twilight path I long to travel.

    So, I tear out my heart as sacrifice

    to the twisted beast who is my other:

    will it satisfy this constant hunger,

    and let grace fall on me like winter rain?

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  • You Find a Poem You Wrote Years Ago

    by

    aging, change, clarity, difference, early work, life, liminal, meditation, poetry, process, sonnets, syllabics, transition, writing

    It’s like seeing old pictures of yourself

    long after the camera’s cold click. You

    have a sense of familiarity,

    a recognition that you were once there

    in that moment, but not of the moment

    before, or after. The lines have taken

    on depth as their specificity blurred,

    the colors clarity fading through time

    into generalized gestures, and

    you stop short, stunned at your oblivious youth,

    the clear lack of fear, the unacknowledged

    audacity that spoke with more wisdom

    then, than you ever knew you had, and have

    since lost like someone waking from a dream.

    (October 21, 2021)

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  • Self-Portrait

    by

    abstract, aging, anger, borders, breach, broken, existential angst, life, poetry, ways of knowing

    This is me:

    laconically bored

    sitting in the stands

    watching from above.


    This is me:

    focused on the moment

    tracing a rune

    across the killing floor.


    This is not a mirror,

    a simple reflection,

    rather, a dissection,

    a slow flay, where


    skin peels off

    in thin sheets until

    only raw red bits

    of sin cling to bone.


    I am a myriad,

    shattered.

    I am a scar,

    angry and raw.

    (October 14, 2021)

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  • No Partitions

    by

    broken, chance, change, dream, memory, patterns, poetry, sonnets, transition

    Beneath the bed, I hide

    my sack of broken secrets.

    They leak into my dreams

    like drops of rain sift slowly

    through limestone to form

    deeper pools, darker caves.

    I wake to put them on again

    still damp, clinging to my skin.

    Through the day, they etch

    their strangled blue runes

    onto my hollow bones

    with a cold acid. I become

    a flute to my fears, a crescendo

    of trills like dying birds.

    (October 8, 2021)

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  • Today and Every Day

    by

    broken, change, frustration, haiku, poetry, relationships, ways of knowing

    We drown in our waste,

    as history fragments, like

    ice shelves to the sea.

    (October 1, 2021)

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  • Set and Setting

    by

    borders, broken, choice, control, desire, despair, dissatisfaction, poetry, sonnets

    “till we turn to see 

    who you were, who you are, everpresent, vivid 

    luminous dust” 

                -Denise Levertov 

    Like wolves feeding on a fresh kill 

    steaming in the snow, each dead second 

    is pulled apart. No matter the effort, 

    time disallows the past to continue 

    fully formed. The future devours us 

    leaving little tufts of fur and bone bits 

    to decorate our current troubled paths 

    and explain away our broken sorrows. 

    I am hungry for something I don’t know, 

    a freedom from imposed obligations, 

    an escape to a place I am not known. 

    Yet, where I am, and who I’ve been tangle 

    like the strings of old puppets in a crate, 

    waiting for someone to haul them away. 

    (September 28, 2021) 

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