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My Poetry and Commentary on Life

  • This Writer’s Beginnings: EarlyYears
  • Bread Loaf Influence
  • Rock and Roll High School
  • About

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  • One Less Filter to Intervene

    by

    abstract, breach, chance, control, poetry, storytelling, ways of knowing
    Worn thin, I remove my glasses,
    and the myopic world readjusts.
    Clarity’s a matter of degree:
    step to the right,
    step to the left—
    Hokey Pokey, Hokey Pokey.
    She sat behind you, one row over.
    (You were soul mates! Truly.)
    She knew, but was afraid of love.
    You, you never knew. Hokey, Pokey.
    There is no sadness here,
    not even a cynical joke.
    Must everything be ironic?
    Yesterday, I tried to write a poem
    about thinking and dreams—
    hokey pokey, pokey hokey.
    All very philosophical, yet vague,
    like art, and life, and laughter.
    As once, when late at a party, the person you came with had left without you knowing. You were exhausted from too many small conversations, too many convivial shots of bourbon, and a woman you don’t know who was sitting close to you on the couch said something deeply profound, but your cynicism missed it. Until much later, after she left, and you were still sitting there alone. Step to the left, step to the right.
    Or,
    You read a poem again, years later after never really understanding it the first time, although you always pretend that you did. You read it again, perhaps repeatedly. You see a bit of light in a line, a phrase, a word, some fissure, and you enter. The walls tight against your shoulders, the dark pulling you forward in slow pulsing throbs of fear toward the light, until you cry gasping for air. With the beauty of your comfort ripped asunder, traces of blood slip across your face.

    (July 19, 2016)

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  • Not the Promised Paradise

    by

    broken, control, dissatisfaction, fate, god, mythic, patriarchal, poetry, storytelling, work
    She wants something not this—
    the teeth grinding dreams,
    waking worried about work:
    as if she has done something wrong,
    not completed an unexplained task,
    failed to live up to the repeated lie.
    A snake’s hiss whispers nearby;
    a peach wetly ripens in the sun.
    He’s in the garden calling her name.

    (July 19, 2016)

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  • Again

    by

    desire, erato, eros, love, poetry
    Why do I ask?
    To risk disappointment
    for the elusive yes—
    yes, yes, yes

    (July 18, 2016)

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  • Love Poem

    by

    erato, eros, love, lust, poetry
    Turn to me tonight
    through tumbled sheets,
    and wake me in your arms.

    (July 18, 2016)

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  • Four Haiku for the Buck Moon

    by

    chance, change, charm, desire, erato, haiku, life, moon series, obsessions, patterns, poetry, time
    We come to ourselves;
    patterns repeat as patterns—
    You, me, each our own.
    *
    And then we grow up—
    Almost as if we planned it:
    earth’s procreant urge.
    *
    I’m too drunk to think
    beyond the now of this page—
    Who am I to doubt?
    *
    I desire you still,
    to hear your voice in laughter—
    to begin again.

    (July 18, 2016)

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  • Silenced

    by

    broken, fate, life, lost, poetry, silence, sonnets
    The words lie
    in wet trenches
    along the road;
    I no longer know
    what I know is
    what I know.
    Trust’s membrane thins
    an ache along
    a spent vein – –
    a rupture in truth,
    as if an aneurism
    blurs my vision.
    I am afraid
    to speak out loud.

    (July 17, 2016)

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  • vita

    by

    change, definition, identity formation, interrelationships, poetry
    I am evaporated mist
    a breath of dust
    a slough of skin
    I am a dry cough
    a mortician’s soft hand
    the blur of thought and sleep
    I am what you claim
    to be the part
    you slice away from me
    I am the absence
    an open door
    the close of a book
    (July 12, 2016)

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  • Garden Meditation

    by

    broken, control, erato, eros, interrelationships, lonely, lost, poetry
    Her roses break into my hands;
    the petals drift through my fingers
    like stars.  I don’t know where I’ve been,
    or why she disappeared that night:
    the trees danced darkly against the
    darkening sky, like the troubled
    edges of Van Gogh’s  Starry Night.
    Each moment glistens like morning
    rain, the sun sliding through the drops
    as we slow dance tangentially.
    There are no contours to divide,
    no green topographical maps
    to consult. If I knew where
    I was going – – I couldn’t be lost.
    Instead I am here, befuddled,
    as her roses tremble to earth.

    (July 12, 2016)

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  • It is Itself Enough

    by

    dissatisfaction, interpretation, life, poetry, reader response, response, rewriting other poems, ways of knowing
    apologies to ws


    no explanations
    until later, he
    explains:
    a difference
    between his hands
    heavy on my shoulder
    now and the ache–
    the moon’s crescent
    here now, and Paris
    then, but not him
    then.
    the sky’s less grand,
    or am I smaller?
    wisdom was simple,
    or we were naïve:
    despite the poison,
    the drowning in air,
    the grappling panic,
    I am here without change;
    patterns are patterns
    even when I see them.
    the house across the street
    goes dark;
    there are no screams
    left.
    (July 11, 2016)

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  • A Part Apart

    by

    belief, communication, community, family, identity formation, life, lit theory, metaphor, poetry, social construction, sonnets, storytelling, ways of knowing, writing
    A story’s comfort
    comes in retelling.
    The pattern laid out
    like a blue quilt;
    each square tightly
    stitched to someone
    else’s contribution,
    someone’s scraps.
    It’s taken time
    to listen close,
    to follow a thread
    from knot to knot;
    until I, too, am
    woven whole.

    (July 9, 2016)

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  • Shantith, or Original Sin

    by

    assignment, children, despair, fate, frustration, lament, life, memory, poetry, response, time


    “Behold the time of the Assassins.”
                            Arthur Rimbaud
    It is not that stories don’t matter, but they are not justified; the margins neatly matted. Each spring, as a child, the carnival would arrive in town for the fat stock show.  The kids in the local 4-H and F.F.A would compete, trying to win best of show and scholarships from the cows, pigs, sheep, and goats they had loving raised over the year for slaughter. We ignored the poison in our veins. Instead we spun, and flipped, and screamed tightly to each other on the carnival rides, held safe in our laughter. The horrors lurked somewhere else, some other state, some other country’s small town. Someone else’s children burned in the magazines stacked securely on the living room floor. From a blue sky, the sun shone brightly upon the cottonwoods in the back yard. As neighbors leaned on rakes talking quietly to each other, the sounds of lawn sprinklers spritzed through the evening air.
    (July 8, 2016)

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  • Dream Journal #30: Desire

    by

    desire, dream, erato, eros, love, metaphor, muse, poetry
    From dreams filled
    with flirtatious texts,
    and tentative conversation
    in bars and beds tangled
    in reconciliations,
    I wake into silence;
    the cat through a window
    watches a cardinal sing
    on a branch out of reach.

    (July 4, 2016)

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  • dissemble

    by

    abstract, chant, charm, definition, dissatisfaction, happiness, interpretation, life, lost, muse, poetry, sonnets, storytelling, ways of knowing
    all these things have turned upon me
    turned upon me turned and turned
    I am tired of explanation’s explanation
    to myself about myself to others
    reciting and rewriting poems and lies
    I know before I know what I have said
    to say as I say it all again to myself
    all these things have turned upon me
    it does not matter or perhaps to seem
    to matter what I think or thought
    could happen or did happen or never
    happened beyond my desire for desire
    to turn my life away a way along a way
    toward a resemblance of happiness

    (July 4 ,2016)

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  • always too late

    by

    acceptance, communication, erato, friends, loss, love, muse, poetry, sonnets, summer
    Silence, without
    distractions,
    comforts. Within,
    silence opens
    like laughter
    about our cold
    obstinance.
    Beneath cicada’s
    staccato screams,
    summer’s heat
    embeds silence.
    We should speak,
    but don’t know how
    to dismantle silence.

    (July 2, 2016)

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  • mea culpa

    by

    abstract, broken, communication, existential angst, fate, fragments, lost, meaning, poetry, sonnets, ways of knowing
    There is a confession
    I will not confess;
    this is it. I have no hands
    to offer solace, or beg
    forgiveness of neglect.
    Between desire and denial,
    self-abnegation parses
    the day-to-day trespasses
    into shards. With bloody fingers,
    I shape my fragments into mosaics,
    abstract and mono-chromatic,
    until simpler to believe.
    My guilt inculcates the air,
    and then I drown.

    (July 2, 2016)

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