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My Poetry and Commentary on Life

  • This Writer’s Beginnings: EarlyYears
  • Bread Loaf Influence
  • Rock and Roll High School
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  • One Must Separate to Remain Whole

    by

    change, clarity, hope, poetry, process, silence

    “as if listening itself were to become a state of utterance: 
    in me, it is the ear which speaks.” –Roland Barthes
    when the day’s
    traumas trouble
    your sleep like
    pebbles dance
    down a stream
    hush then wait
    for silence to rise
    through you
    like butterflies
    in a dance
    hush then wait
    for the falderal
    to settle
    like silt sifts
    to the river’s bottom
    hush then wait
    for the bat’s high
    lyric cries
    to call out
    for something other
    than the dark
    hush then wait
    for our walls
    to reflect their
    edges back
    and whisper
    not me not
    me again
    into the permeable
    spaces we share
    (March 9, 2015)

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  • loquela

    by

    communication, control, erato, language, poetry
    “the flux of language through which the subject tirelessly rehashes the effects of a wound.” – – Roland Barthes
    he turns and flops and turns again
    a well dressed monkey with a cup
    dancing to a hurdy gurdy’s chime
    the blood dried to scab despite
    his fingered rehash and revision
    of each word he said and heard
    he ate her loquacious dreams
    spent hours then days now years
    savoring them in their entirety
    the words came to lacerate his throat
    filling his belly with dire sustenance
    a belief his meaning meshed with hers
    until he devoured both him and her
    in an implosion of sin collapsing
    like the last spasms of a dying sun
    (March 7, 2015)

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  • Returning To Silence

    by

    acceptance, clarity, control, found, identity formation, poetry, ways of knowing
    “the death of the image of my own life”
                            -Roland Barthes
    The voices’ cacophony abates slowly
    into a hushed whisper between friends;
    the frantic caws and suppositions ebb
    like the soft susurrations of the sea
    rhythmically wash along a darkened shore.
    The long list of self recriminations,
    snuffing after me like hounds baying
    beneath an October moon, have faded,
    and I am left waiting upon the dawn
    within a fragile calm of my old silences.
    (March 2, 2015)

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  • xenophobic structures of love

    by

    borders, change, erato, liminal, love, poetry
    ” nuance is the last shade of color which can be named; the nuance is the Intractable.” 
                       —Roland Barthes

    writing from desire
    for another place
    for another you
    another set scene
    without resonance
    from one to the other
    then not the one
    but the other
    as red shifts
    to ultra-violet
    in an artifact of vision
    skewed to itself
    differentiates itself
    into something necessarily
    absorbed or defined
    along non-existent lines
    separating
    you from me
    (March 1, 2015)

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  • appeal

    by

    communication, desire, erato, eros, hope, love, offering, poetry, romance
    I have nothing
    within my hands
    nothing to offer
    beyond my trust
    that I am
    who I claim
    that what I hold
    within me
    my heart
    my love
    for you
    will be enough
    that what I say
    will find
    its truer echo
    within you
    that you will hear
    this secret song
    then take my hands
    for what they are
    and hold them close
    within yours
    safe from all
    the calloused troubles
    outside ourselves

    (February 28, 2015)

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  • prometheus tired

    by

    aging, dissatisfaction, existential angst, life, mythic, poetry, ways of knowing

    “We live in the flicker.”
                -Joseph Conrad
    what stories I tell don’t matter
    wisdom always arrives too late
    I sit here now out of the way
    dismissed into inconsequence
    profundity’s simplicity smacks
    like a brick upside my head
    pay attention
    begin at the beginning
    one shuffling step at a time
    each day chop wood carry water
    all so focused on each moment
    ignore what’s next
    no time for dreams
    It’s painful to watch them
    the children all so grown
    so hungry for their lives
    their struggles always dire
    their accolades so dear
    so unaware of each iron link
    curling back ‘til anchored tight
    to the rock at the titan’s feet

    (February 26, 2015)

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  • pathway

    by

    aging, attention, control, life, liminal, lost, poetry, traces, ways of knowing
    the lines I live between tighten and stretch
    a fine steel mesh filters my heart’s discontent
    the thickened blood’s oozings onto this page
    like the stubby swirls of a child’s finger paint
    a labyrinthine turn into return
    where the slow plod from hedgerow to hedgerow
    transforms the mundane to normality
    a fine white gruel ground thin by blackened teeth
    the word’s grit spit like broken pecan shells
    into the thick ash about the dead fire
    clings between tongue and gum clotting
    the flow of what thought I have remaining
    as I squeeze and tease another brief pulse
    from the flaccid miasma of this life
    (February 25, 2015)

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  • Vanishing Point

    by

    acceptance, aging, courage, life, paradigm shifts, poetry
    “It takes courage to enjoy it”
                -Bjork
    He leaves through the mist.
    The air, interlaced in thin rain,
    shimmers like beaded curtains,
    or green smoke billowing
    between the dancers
    around a lunar fire.
    With a quick shuffled step,
    he sifts through the night
    lifting his eyes to the sky.
    Each star glistens along
    its pin point of light
    in wavelengths of desire,
    until they drop to the grass
    and gather like constellated
    thoughts around us all.
    We each are a breach
    in air, a doorway
    from here to there;
    we must enter, cross
    through, then vanish
    into laughter and tears.

    (February 24, 2015)

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  • Dream Journal # 19: The House of Cats

    by

    control, dissatisfaction, dream, lost, poetry, traces

    he was in another room quiet but present
    children appeared then disappeared hungry
    she brought us into the house quickly
    the cats for sale were scattered everywhere
    we were to find them and decide ourselves
    they were all older cats and unkempt
    they purred when picked up charming
    bed sheets lay tangled across the floor
    except for the bedrooms the house was empty
    the house was gold with dark green trim
    outside a new spring well flowed
    two lots over a grocer’s screen door slammed
    it advertised cold Schlitz beer for sale
    I had been there before somewhere
    he watched from a window nearby
    my wife couldn’t decide as if it were required
    I wanted to leave she resisted stubbornly
    I couldn’t make it up the stairs again
    the children roamed through the kitchen
    one surreptitiously gnawed on a sausage
    the others followed her from room to room
    he sat in the front room angry at us all
    I tried to engage him with small talk
    the house the well the town itself
    I threatened to leave it was late
    she couldn’t decide but had decided
    we could wait we had to wait
    relatives talked in nearby rooms
    his anger seethed beneath the door
    I wanted to leave but couldn’t leave
    I woke she slept the room was still
    one of our cats purred nearby
    I dressed silently then went to work
    (February 23, 2015)

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  • mood swing

    by

    acceptance, poetry, writing
    some times in better times
    I write something down
    and giggle

    (February 21, 2015)

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  • A Cautionary

    by

    aging, breach, control, education, poetry
    honesty is best revised
    the flash of wit rewritten
    never you hear never
    say what’s on your mind
    (February 21, 2015)

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  • the soft ooze

    by

    audacity, control, poetry, ways of knowing
    to speak as I desire
    true to my knowings
    shatters like ice
    decorum’s scarab
    tight sarcophagus
    these multiple
    quick lines
    of dissection
    sharply through
    my carapace
    slowly open
    the soft ooze
    of truth to those
    willing to view
    my unsettled life

    (February 20, 2015)

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  • invoke the day

    by

    acceptance, chant, clarity, dance, mythic, poetry, ways of knowing
    the repeated phrase said again
    the repeated phrase to begin
    the completed phrase grows within
    the completed phrase said again
    spin again begin within again
    then turn and turn then turn once more
    a pattern forms upon the floor
    each step we take leads to a door
    which frees us from a life abhorred
    so spin until we are no more

    (February 20, 2015)

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  • What I Like About Writing

    by

    acceptance, definition, essay, poetics, storytelling, thinking, ways of knowing, writing

    What I like about writing, either poetry or the essay, is that I don’t have to make sense. The writing makes sense on its own. The writing begins to make sense as I write, more as an impressionistic whole, a tone, a leit-motif if you will, which takes over the poem, or the essay. I remember watching a program on PBS about birth. When the millions of sperm finally end their race to the egg, as soon as one sperm comes in contact with the egg, the egg is transformed into an impenetrable barrier that all the loser sperm cannot breach. I see the same transformation happen as I write. I have one sentence down, which makes me think of another, and that second sentence then collapses all the other possible pathways the first sentence could have engendered, while simultaneously opening a myriad of new rabbit holes down which I can fall. Writing like this is exciting. As I progress, re-reading as I go, or rather as I become lost, I start to see that I am not lost. One can never be lost if one does not know where one is going, I guess.  There is not a straight linear progress, but it still has a form, more like the orgasmic organic transformations of the earth as the tectonic plates grind into one another, where the musings, thoughts of the writer reflexively bend back and out, an Escher-like reflowing; connections made where none were seen, imagistic moves, themed turns, poetic leaps down the trail of thought: Art. 

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  • talking with you

    by

    communication, desire, erato, eros, love, obsessions, poetry, response, silence
    “Language is a skin. I rub my language against the other. It is as if I had words instead of fingers, or fingers at the tip of my words. My Language trembles with desire.”
                -Roland Barthes
    with trembling tongue
    which would tickle
    along your skin
    if it could
    I speak to you
    yet again pretending
    you listen somewhere
    to my mumbled wish
    although what I perceive
    as your answers return slow
    and often more ambiguous
    than my words to you
    I caress each syllable
    as if they were your lips
    silently singing to the night
    a slow responsive yes
    I read into your words
    my desires as if our intents
    were more entwined
    than mere happenstance
    where beyond these lines
    beyond these idle musings
    I could hold you more
    than a brief parting embrace
    (February 18, 2015)

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