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My Poetry and Commentary on Life

  • This Writer’s Beginnings: EarlyYears
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  • Garden Meditation

    by

    broken, control, erato, eros, interrelationships, lonely, lost, poetry
    Her roses break into my hands;
    the petals drift through my fingers
    like stars.  I don’t know where I’ve been,
    or why she disappeared that night:
    the trees danced darkly against the
    darkening sky, like the troubled
    edges of Van Gogh’s  Starry Night.
    Each moment glistens like morning
    rain, the sun sliding through the drops
    as we slow dance tangentially.
    There are no contours to divide,
    no green topographical maps
    to consult. If I knew where
    I was going – – I couldn’t be lost.
    Instead I am here, befuddled,
    as her roses tremble to earth.

    (July 12, 2016)

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  • It is Itself Enough

    by

    dissatisfaction, interpretation, life, poetry, reader response, response, rewriting other poems, ways of knowing
    apologies to ws


    no explanations
    until later, he
    explains:
    a difference
    between his hands
    heavy on my shoulder
    now and the ache–
    the moon’s crescent
    here now, and Paris
    then, but not him
    then.
    the sky’s less grand,
    or am I smaller?
    wisdom was simple,
    or we were naïve:
    despite the poison,
    the drowning in air,
    the grappling panic,
    I am here without change;
    patterns are patterns
    even when I see them.
    the house across the street
    goes dark;
    there are no screams
    left.
    (July 11, 2016)

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  • A Part Apart

    by

    belief, communication, community, family, identity formation, life, lit theory, metaphor, poetry, social construction, sonnets, storytelling, ways of knowing, writing
    A story’s comfort
    comes in retelling.
    The pattern laid out
    like a blue quilt;
    each square tightly
    stitched to someone
    else’s contribution,
    someone’s scraps.
    It’s taken time
    to listen close,
    to follow a thread
    from knot to knot;
    until I, too, am
    woven whole.

    (July 9, 2016)

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  • Shantith, or Original Sin

    by

    assignment, children, despair, fate, frustration, lament, life, memory, poetry, response, time


    “Behold the time of the Assassins.”
                            Arthur Rimbaud
    It is not that stories don’t matter, but they are not justified; the margins neatly matted. Each spring, as a child, the carnival would arrive in town for the fat stock show.  The kids in the local 4-H and F.F.A would compete, trying to win best of show and scholarships from the cows, pigs, sheep, and goats they had loving raised over the year for slaughter. We ignored the poison in our veins. Instead we spun, and flipped, and screamed tightly to each other on the carnival rides, held safe in our laughter. The horrors lurked somewhere else, some other state, some other country’s small town. Someone else’s children burned in the magazines stacked securely on the living room floor. From a blue sky, the sun shone brightly upon the cottonwoods in the back yard. As neighbors leaned on rakes talking quietly to each other, the sounds of lawn sprinklers spritzed through the evening air.
    (July 8, 2016)

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  • Dream Journal #30: Desire

    by

    desire, dream, erato, eros, love, metaphor, muse, poetry
    From dreams filled
    with flirtatious texts,
    and tentative conversation
    in bars and beds tangled
    in reconciliations,
    I wake into silence;
    the cat through a window
    watches a cardinal sing
    on a branch out of reach.

    (July 4, 2016)

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  • dissemble

    by

    abstract, chant, charm, definition, dissatisfaction, happiness, interpretation, life, lost, muse, poetry, sonnets, storytelling, ways of knowing
    all these things have turned upon me
    turned upon me turned and turned
    I am tired of explanation’s explanation
    to myself about myself to others
    reciting and rewriting poems and lies
    I know before I know what I have said
    to say as I say it all again to myself
    all these things have turned upon me
    it does not matter or perhaps to seem
    to matter what I think or thought
    could happen or did happen or never
    happened beyond my desire for desire
    to turn my life away a way along a way
    toward a resemblance of happiness

    (July 4 ,2016)

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  • always too late

    by

    acceptance, communication, erato, friends, loss, love, muse, poetry, sonnets, summer
    Silence, without
    distractions,
    comforts. Within,
    silence opens
    like laughter
    about our cold
    obstinance.
    Beneath cicada’s
    staccato screams,
    summer’s heat
    embeds silence.
    We should speak,
    but don’t know how
    to dismantle silence.

    (July 2, 2016)

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  • mea culpa

    by

    abstract, broken, communication, existential angst, fate, fragments, lost, meaning, poetry, sonnets, ways of knowing
    There is a confession
    I will not confess;
    this is it. I have no hands
    to offer solace, or beg
    forgiveness of neglect.
    Between desire and denial,
    self-abnegation parses
    the day-to-day trespasses
    into shards. With bloody fingers,
    I shape my fragments into mosaics,
    abstract and mono-chromatic,
    until simpler to believe.
    My guilt inculcates the air,
    and then I drown.

    (July 2, 2016)

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  • Horse Sense

    by

    broken, control, dissatisfaction, fate, irony, life, metaphor, poetry, response, ways of knowing, work
    Once the bridle is in place,
    one behaves well enough
    for the masters to ride
    to church and home.
    Better to submit.
    The food is plentiful,
    the stable warm.
    Does it really matter
    if they are wrong?

    (July 1, 2016)

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  • Tacit Reflections on the Floor

    by

    assignment, existential angst, fate, identity formation, metaphor, poetry, response
    Look – – Here’s
    an image
    of someone looking;
    as once, late at night,
    in a bar mirror,
    I looked
    to see all
    my images
    unfold like flowers.

    (July 1, 2016)

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  • Basic Training: a faux fable

    by

    assignment, control, family, fate, identity formation, interrelationships, memory, metaphor, mythic, narrative, poetry, time
                                        “Who do I think I am to decide that she’s wrong?”
    –Townes Van Zandt
    “Tell me a story; maybe I’ll believe it.”
                                                                            –Iggy Pop
    Once one morning in Virginia on the Appalachian Trail,
    we stepped out from the dark forest
    onto a ledge of rock jutting into the air,
    the view across the Shenandoah Valley stunning
    enough to almost make one believe in God.
    A few feet from the escarpment’s edge,
    like a sacrificial gift upon an alter,
    a pile of human excrement lay covered
    by a few scraps of paper as if with a bow.
    Some after partaking in drugs, relate
    an experience, a vision if you will, most profound,
    transformative even, like a pocket
    pulled inside out – – – often comparing
    their evening’s chemical experience
    to the weeks-long vision quests of some
    native American tribes – – after all, this is
    the age of convenience – – the quick fix,
    even in spiritual matters. So listen close:
    Back in my distant youth, almost a man,
    during my sophomore year of college,
    I often took hallucinogens.  One night,
    I sensed I had to use the restroom; so I sat,
    and wandered through the bowels of my thoughts.
    Among the many lost profundities, I thought
    about Elvis who had recently died, and heard
    like a voice from heaven, my Aunt Hazel
    bending over me fussing about wasting time.
    Then I was home somewhere between two
    and three years old, screaming for help,
    my pants dangling at my feet, screaming
    for my mother to save me, to help me
    clean up my mess. Aunt Hazel stepped
    in, cigarette dangling, grabbed some paper
    and roughly got to the bottom of the problem:
    You’ve got to take care of yourself,
    no one wants to clean up your shit.
    (June 29 , 2016)

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  • Closed System

    by

    definition, language, life, lost, meaning, memory, metaphor, poetry, ways of knowing, writing
    more closed doors without keys
    empty boxes block the hallways
    I stumble along tossing them aside
    angered within my frustration
    I’ve lost something but have lost
    what I’ve lost into memory
    as if I’ve written myself
    into a folded palimpsest
    the words which could explain
    buried beneath words that cannot

    (June 25, 2016)

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  • Forests are Trees

    by

    definition, life, poetry, sonnets, ways of knowing
    an oak is an oak but unlike that oak
    too many tired tropes tie my tongue into
    too many dull clichés which tap their way
    along an obviously beaten path
    where there is no need to see where to go
    because I’ve been there before and then again
    as from worn habit the riderless horse
    trots back into the barn’s comfort and warmth
    the significant differences
    are not enough to separate words
    from trees any more than from the forest
    sprawling about us with such urgency
    can I shape the tales I tell to myself
    to separate my life from my clichés

    (June 25, 2016)

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  • dusk

    by

    communication, desire, erato, eros, happiness, love, meaning, memory, poetry, sonnets
    like a mouth searching along your skin
    my wounds open and close in silent
    kisses:  the textures of our words shimmer
    as if the sky’s reflection in a lake ruffled
    by a breeze.  Meanings shift definition,
    become permeable to our memory’s
    altered opinions, to the hairline slivers
    of doubt crackling the surface narrative
    in long fractal webs laced with desire
    and narcissistic happy endings: I knew
    this would not end in melodramatic moans,
    nor hilltop reunions ablaze in sunsets,
    because life’s entanglements often disallow
    whatever happiness remains to be had

    (June 21, 2016)

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  • on waking

    by

    beauty, chant, erato, happiness, poetics, poetry
    our truth
    our own
    ecstatic now

    (June 21, 2016)

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